I try to make most of my posts slightly humorous with the hope of being entertaining so you’ll want to keep coming back and sharing with your friends so that eventually advertisers will be dying to place ads on my site and I’ll become famous and live off of my blog earnings (that’s the long-term plan anyhow, but don’t worry – I’m not holding my breath!). After over 20 posts, I’m writing my first serious post so don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also, the beginning may seem like I’m rambling but I promise that I do have a point…even if it takes awhile to get to it (Mr. C learned this a long time ago)!
Religion has always been a part of my life, a bigger part at times and very small during others. I grew up attending Catholic church and a Catholic school. My grandma was a wonderful role model for me. She devoted time every morning to her prayers and lived her life as a devoted Catholic. My father attended church weekly as well, as he still does. He even attends church in Arizona when he comes to visit. I attended mass weekly during school and then again on Sundays. I also had religion class daily at school and learned lots of “religious info”. While this gave me a great Christian background, I never really FELT what I was learning. I understood it but it never really sank in. I began to get lost in the rules and repetition. At some point I began to lose the real meaning of everything and seemed to just go with the flow.
In middle school I decided I wanted to be confirmed Methodist, in my mother’s church. The songs, sermons, people, and laid-back environment made me feel more at home. While my dad wasn’t thrilled, he did respect my decision and was pretty supportive. For the rest of high school I was very involved in the church, participating in the youth group, volunteering, and even going on a mission trip. I loved being active in the church but there was still something missing.
I moved to Arizona and fell out of my church routine. Mr. C attended regularly in the beginning of our relationship and so sometimes attended with him and his mother, however at a certain point we became lazy and stopped getting up on Sunday mornings. We had our ups and downs of church attendance, attending regularly for awhile and then taking “breaks”. Before our wedding we became more regular and were married by an amazing Pastor of our church. We started attending more regularly again a few months ago and had become pretty consistent.
My mother-in-law is pretty involved in many things, one being the Walk to Emmaus, a Christian retreat (to simplify). She had talked to Mr. C and I about going many times but we never really paid much attention (sorry!). She asked us again a few months ago. I had begun to feel like something in my life needed to change. I loved my family, my friends, and my life in general, but I still knew something was missing. Mr. C and I talked about the Walk and decided it was something we were interested in. I figured at the very least my mother-in-law wouldn’t ask us again! The men went one weekend and the women another so my mom had planned to come stay with me while Mr. C was away because I’m still terrified to sleep in our house (or any house for that matter) alone. It occurred to me that my mom could go on the walk to so I asked her and she excitedly said yes.
We didn’t know much about the walk, other than that it was 72 hours long, was in a church, and was supposed to be great. I’m pretty picky about some things, including my sleeping because I have a lot of issues sleeping and prefer to be in my own space, in my own bed. I also NEVER (I really mean never when I say this) go out without makeup on. When I had abdominal pains that lasted for two days, I refused to go to Urgent Care without first showering and doing my makeup. I ended up having my appendix out that day. So, I also worried that I wouldn’t be able to shower and do my makeup like normal. I know this last part may make me sound vain but I tend to worry over dumb things!
Mr. C attended the Walk while my mother and I were having our fun time in San Diego. He returned telling us that he had a great time, but not saying too much else. He didn’t want to give anything away and I didn’t really know what to ask. I did, however, make sure to get the low down on the showering situation which I was still super stressed about!
The week flew by and it was Thursday night before I knew it. I wasn’t sure what to expect and wasn’t too comforted once I arrived! I felt so out of place and there were only a handful of girls under 30. I was soooo glad my mom was with me (I know, I sound like a little kid!). As I left my husband and mother-in-law I was so nervous. I talked to a couple of women and started feeling better, although still a little unsure about the LONG weekend. One of the leaders gave a little talk that night and said something to the effect of us most likely not wanting to leave Sunday night. In my head I was thinking that I knew I’d want to leave Sunday night!
The weekend was amazing. Here, I’ll even capitalize it – it was AMAZING! I’m not going to detail all of the wonderful talks and experiences of the weekend because first of all I simply don’t have time for that…my blog would be pages long! Secondly, the best part of the weekend was that we lived in the moment, not knowing what was next and not worrying about anything so I wouldn’t want to spoil anything (since of course there are millions of people that read my posts LOL). I LOVED not being responsible for anything (well not much anyhow). The best way to describe the weekend is that it was filled with wonderful surprises, wonderful women who quickly became friends/family, and a chance for me to find what I had been missing. If the weekend had to be put into a box, I don’t think the lid could shut because the amount of love and prayers received that weekend couldn’t be contained. And, the leader had been right…I wanted to get back to my husband and my puppy and my bed, but I really didn’t want to leave. In the end I didn’t really care about my showers, the lack of makeup, or the snoring at night because the experience was bigger than all that (plus I had earplugs). And, I’m so thankful that my mother-in-law wasn’t too pushy but always remained persistent.
I’m so thankful that my mother and my husband went through the same experience at the same time. I never cry – NEVER. My co-workers call me heartless because I didn’t cry when I watched “The Notebook”, or really any movie for that matter (with the exception of Marley and Me where I sobbed). I think I cried 3 or 4 times that weekend, the most exciting one being at the end when I tried to explain what the weekend meant to me. I think I got about 3 sentences out before I started blubbering and making my ugly cry face in front of a rather large group of people. Even worse than crying is crying in front of a group! Of course everyone understood, no one laughed, and I think some were happy to see that I did actually show some emotion (the rest of the weekend’s crying was fairly low key and I spent the majority of the time simply smiling – I’m good at hiding things!).
Going from a retreat to reality was hard because talking about things is always easier than doing them. However, today I feel like a new woman, with a new mission. I have my priorities in order and at the top of my list is my faith, my family, and my friends (including those who I have yet to meet). I know I have a lot to work on but I feel like this past weekend was a great start/reminder. I don’t know what’s in store for me but I know that God will point me in the right direction. I recently discovered this song and love it so I’m posting a link to it. Enjoy!
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