Underestimated Dangers

I spent the first seventeen years of my life in Nebraska.  Over the years I experienced blizzards, icy roads, fog so thick you couldn’t see farther than a few feet in front of the car, tornado warnings, hail, and so on.  I thought I had experienced it all when I moved, however there was something that I had missed.  When I moved to Arizona I learned that I didn’t have to fear the blizzards, ice, or fog, but something much worse.  I had to watch out for Phoenicians driving during monsoon season. 

It amazes me how a little rain can cause so many problems!  During my first year of college one of my college professors announced that whenever it rained he would receive multiple emails from students stating that they couldn’t come to class because it was raining.  Raining!  Not hailing, snowing, but RAINING!  Apparently that wasn’t an appropriate excuse for staying home.  After driving home last night I beg to differ.

My normal commute is around 45 minutes.  I wasn’t even halfway home yesterday after 45 minutes.  I had driven about fifteen blocks when I encountered the first of many obstacles for the evening.  There was a three car accident which resulted in two of the three lanes being closed.  To add to the congestion, the traffic light right after the accident was not functional.  This would have been fine if people weren’t glued to the car in front of them, refusing to let anyone out of the two blocked lanes and into the open one.  God forbid that we be nice to each other!  Once I got past the light I encountered slightly flooded roads and more out-of-order traffic lights.  I understand that the traffic lights weren’t the drivers’ fault but seriously people, have you no concept of a four-way stop?!? 

Mr. Centner and I carpooled yesterday which really worked out in our favor.  We were enjoying making fun of other drivers together versus me talking to myself and yelling at other drivers alone in my car (this is actually a common occurrence).   Plus, life is always more fun when someone you love is by your side, even during the little things!   When we saw how backed up traffic was we decided to stop for dinner and wait it out.  We sat in Chili’s enjoying our delicious food while looking out the window and still making fun of the crazy drivers.   Honestly, it was more interesting than talking about our days!   Obviously we made it home safe and sound.  I’m crossing my fingers that today isn’t a repeat of yesterday.  Unfortunately for me I drove alone today so I’ll have to make fun of other drivers alone which just isn’t as much fun.

As a disclaimer, I know many Phoenicians who are wonderful drivers, even in the rain!  Unfortunately there aren’t enough of these people.   Although now that I think of it, I don’t think any of these people are actually from Phoenix…..except for Mr. Centner, but he’s the exception to a lot of rules!

"Just Because"

Mr. Centner has one of those jobs that allows him the luxury of summers off.  I’ll admit that I do resent him a little when I’m getting ready for work at 6:30 and he gets to snooze until 9ish.  But, I really do love having him home in the summer.   He runs errands, does the grocery shopping (with my list of course), and occasionally cooks or cleans.  I call him my househusband, a title I believe he secretly likes!

One of my favorite things about his time off in the summer is our ability to make lunch dates.  I’m normally very religious about making healthy lunches but sometimes I’m just not in the mood.  Last night I wasn’t feeling the whole healthy lunch thing so instead we made a lunch date.

Not only did my wonderful husband show up to take me to lunch today, BUT he also brought me a bouquet of beautiful flowers!  He said they were “just because”!  Gerber daisies are my absolute favorite followed by lilies.  This bouquet has BOTH!  How lucky can a girl be? 

Lunch out + beautiful flowers + seeing Mr. Centner in the middle of my day = One awesome Thursday!

The 10 I Do's

I was a bridesmaid this past weekend for my long-time friend’s wedding.  This was of course why I had attempted to take on the spray tan machine last week!  I’m guessing the developers knew that uncoordinated people such as myself would be dying to use their product and thus developed the spray tan to wear off fairly easily.  Luckily I no longer resembled an orange after a few days.  My co-workers, family, and Mr. Centner had some great laughs on my behalf though!

The wedding got me thinking about weddings – imagine that! The uniqueness of each wedding never ceases to amaze me.  At the heart of every wedding is the same goal - to allow the guests a peak into the couple's relationship and to celebrate the day that legally and spiritually binds them together.  However, the way each couple attempts this is always very unique.  Here are my favorite ideas from the weddings I've had the pleasure of attending (including my own).

My Favorite Wedding Touches

1. Video or Photo Montage - I LOVE seeing baby pictures and the story of what brought the couple together.  I've seen photo montages before but this past wedding was my first experience with an actual video.  The bride and groom talked about the qualities they loved in each other and recorded a message to the other to be heard for the first time on the wedding day.  With the drama and wedding issues of the day, it was a great reminder of why we were all there celebrating!

2. The Dollar Dance!  - Yes, it's old, not that original, and maybe Ms. Mannors would say it's tacky but I think it's a wonderful way for the guests to get some one-on-one time with the bride or groom during the rushed day and it provides some much needed extra money for the honeymoon.  It’s always interesting to see who’s willing to pay to dance with the couple!

3. Hand made invitations - Nothing makes me happier than opening an invitation that was created and pieced together by the happy couple.  My wonderful bridesmaids helped me with the invitations and Mr. Centner and I sealed them all with a melted wax seal.  Now, to be fair I should mention that not all guest received their invitation with the seal still intact but hey, we tried!

4. Meaningful Ceremonies - The goal of a wedding is to celebrate in the union of the couple in front of their friends, family, and God.  Therefore, I believe that the ceremony should also have creative touches from the couple and should reflect the seriousness of the union.  This may be a little harder depending on the person performing the ceremony, but I've been to some beautiful ceremonies.  I absolutely love when couples write their own vows.  We choose a couple readings that were very meaningful to us and asked my father and Mr. Centner's mother to read them.  We did a sand ceremony which symbolized our life together while still maintain our own individuality.  We wrote our own vows and also repeated the traditional vows.  I loved that we were able to share our own thoughts while also saying the words that our parents and grandparents had said for their own weddings.

5. Amazing Cakes - It's amazing what can be done with some fondant by a very skilled baker!  It’s almost too hard to imagine eating the cake because it’s so beautiful.  Don’t worry though, I’ve never actually passed up a piece of cake because it’s too pretty!   It's so hard to pick one flavor of cake that the weddings I've attended lately have a different kind of cake for each layer which I think is an amazing idea.  The only thing better than cake is more varieties of cake!

6. A non-traditional wedding party - Couples now have junior bridesmaids, an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, and even dogs as ring bearers.  We had a Man of Honor.  Yes, a MAN of Honor.  I wanted my best friend standing next to me. He's been an amazing friend and I didn't think it was right to have him on my husband's side because he was MY friend first!  Yes, I do understand that last statement makes it sound like I'm in preschool fighting over my best friend, but that's how I felt!  Some people thought it was weird, some thought it was cool, but all that mattered was how I felt.  And I loved it!

7. Both parents walking the bride down the aisle - One of my good friends did this and I did as well.  A wedding is a joyous occasion, and for the parents it's an official sign that their little girl or boy has grown up.  My mother is an amazing woman and I would not be the person I am today without her.  Because of that I thought it was only fitting for her to give me away as well.  Plus, I was hoping she'd actually cry during the ceremony and I thought giving me away might push her towards tears faster.  Love you mom!

8. Something Unique - I've been to a wedding that was....standard.  Everything was done the way it should be.  The day went well but it lacked something: lacked personality, uniqueness, and excitement.  I've also been to other weddings that had something unique that set them apart.   One wedding featured the groom as the DJ.  He loaded up his Ipod with some great songs, set it to shuffle, and danced with his beautiful bride and guests.  Another wedding had a nacho bar - far from typical wedding food but it was such a hit!  I've even heard of couples having photo booths for their guests. 

9. Heartfelt toasts from the bride/groom - Yes, toasts can get annoying when the microphone seems to be passed to everyone in the room; however I love when the bride and groom acknowledge the guests, family, and wedding party's investment in the day.  Who doesn't love to be thanked and appreciated! 

10. FUN! -  It's amazing how stressful weddings can be!  We've all known or heard of bridezillas that believe their day is only about them. The best weddings are those where the bride and groom enjoy themselves, spend time with their guests, and work in wonderful, unexpected touches throughout the day, such as a $100 bill on the guest's chair.  Ok, so the $100 thing has never happened, but I would LOVE to experience that the next time I'm a wedding guest!

Mrs. Centner vs. Spray Tan

Remember that Friends episode where Ross decides to get a spray-on-tan?  He doesn’t quite get it right and ends up getting only the front tanned which of course makes him look completely ridiculous.  I told my friend I was terrified of that happening to me.  She said I’d be fine.  She lied.

Next weekend I'll be a bridesmaid in one of my longtime friend’s wedding.  Since I have the fairest skin in the world and am trying to cover up a sunburn which I stupidly obtained last weekend, I thought the best idea would be to get a spray tan.  No harmful rays and I’d be glowing in no time.  Win-win, right?  Wrong!

So, after work I drove down to the tanning salon.

After stripping down and applying my lotion as fast as possible to beat the four minute timer, I step into the booth and began looking for the start button.  The voice instructs me where to stand and to touch the activating button.  I scan the room for the button.  I can’t find this mystical button anywhere.  I walk over to the huge poster of instructions twice and STILL can’t figure it out.  At this point, I’m touching anything that’s sticking out of the wall - anything that looks like it could possibly be a button.  I begin to wonder if they’ll get some sort of warning at the front desk and come check on me when I don’t hit this button.  I wonder what I’ll do when they knock on the door and I’m racing around the room naked, searching for the stupid button.  After touching everything in sight, I finally find it and we’re off!  This should have been my first red flag.

I was so excited about my easy, glowing tan that I didn’t think to take eyewear.  Once there I figured I could just close my eyes instead – an easy solution.  Except that I forgot I was wearing glasses.  After the first spray,I opened my eyes to find my glasses covered in the Mystic tan solution.  The voice was instructing me how to move so I frantically grabbed the glasses, threw them onto the rug and hurried into my next position.  The next two sprays went off without a hitch so at this point I was feeling like I’d gotten the hang of things.  That’s when it all went wrong.  I got overconfident and apparently stopped listening.  The voice told me how to move with one foot on the 2 and one on the 4.  I tend to space out sometimes and I guess I wasn’t really paying attention and I couldn’t remember which foot went where.  I figured I’ll be turning like that for a little bit longer,  so it shouldn’t be a big deal if I didn’t get it right that one time.  Right after that spray the machine stopped spraying.  I slowly began to realize what I had just done.  One spray on the front, one on the left, one on the right, and then another one on the front.  OMG.  That’s two on the front.  TWO!!!.  And none, yes NONE, on the back.  Great.  I go home and figure it won’t be noticeable.

It’s now four hours later and I’m terrified of waking up in the morning.  Has anyone ever called in sick because they look like an Oompa Loompa?  My husband thinks it’s funny.  I figure I’ll either look terrible in the morning or I’ll have my perfect glow.  Since I’m looking a little orangey now, I’m thinking the perfect glow thing is out.  Oops.