I'm pregnant!

I began writing this a couple months ago but finally decided it was time to post it.  It takes me a long time to do things these days :)

I am a planner, and I always have ideas of the way I think things will be.  As we all know, the world doesn't work that way.  I had no doubts I was pregnant pretty early on.  Mr. C had been eyeing a messenger bag and I decided to order it for him along with a dad book and I'd give it to him the morning I saw the positive test which I just knew was just days away.  I took multiple tests and they came up negative.  Waiting the two weeks to take the tests in the first place was the longest time ever, but then having them come up negative was more crushing than I anticipated.  I knew it could take time, but I also have worried for years that maybe I'd be that person who wasn't able to have kids.  About a week after the last negative test and some sporatic spotting I came home from work and took another test.  It was positive.  I was optimistically happy but so very confused.  I told Mr. C, my mom, and decided to be the crazy woman who would show up at the doctor's office the next morning and demand a blood test.  I got the first blood test and was told that I'd need to go back monday for the next.  Luckily my best friend was flying in that day and she managed to keep me distracted throughout the weekend.  

Tuesday I waited for my phone to ring.  I stared at it between work appointments and finally I called and left a message.  I received a call back confirming that I was in fact pregnant.  I somehow pulled myself together enough to call Mr. C and my mom to share the news and went on with my day at work.  That night I was finally able to give him the bag with the book.  Telling him through a whispered voice on the phone while we were both at work was not at all how I pictured the moment, but we were happy nonetheless.  Telling my mom was not the fun way I expected to share the news either, nor was telling my dad, but that's how things go.

We were able to surprise Mr. C's family, some friends, and keep things under wraps from everyone else for a few weeks.  

At 6 weeks I remember being relieved that things were going so well and then I found myself in the hospital later that very same day, scared that maybe my worries were true and this wasn't going to be so easy for us.  I was lucky enough to have a friend take me.  I'm not sure how I would have gotten myself there otherwise because I was a mess and about to fall apart but she somehow kept me together and I let a little bit of myself believe that when she said everything would be fine, that it really would be.  It felt like we waited forever in the waiting room.  Finally I had an ultrasound and over an hour later they confirmed that things seemed to be alright.  I was so relieved.

Later that week we went in for our scheduled ultrasound which was surreal.  We actually got to hear the heart beat and this time we left with pictures.  The pictures showed us this tiny blob that apparently was a baby.  We were both excited, but watching Mr. C's eyes light up when we heard the heart beat was my favorite part of that experience.  It was all seeming so real.

We had planned to wait until 10-12 weeks to make the news "Facebook official" and tell everyone at work, but decided that 10 weeks was plenty of time.  We'd had 3 ultrasounds with a heart beat and my issues had cleared up.  We posted an announcement on facebook and sat there for a few minutes staring at the computer as it dinged away with "likes" and comments.  It filled my heart to read the loving comments from people genuinely excited for our news.

It still seems a bit surreal especially since I haven't started showing yet, but I know there's a baby in there.  I've seen it waving its little arms around on an ultrasound.  I feel my body acting in ways it hasn't acted before and I have these food cravings I can only blame on the baby.  I gave up sugar a year ago and haven't looked back but this baby has made all of that come crashing down.  Apparently the baby likes ice cream and tropical skittles.  Although these few months have not been what I'd describe as fun, I am thankful for the time to adjust to the idea that there's going to be a baby (OURS!) in the house soon.