Adeline's Birth Story

I’ve been meaning to write Adeline’s birth story for some time now before I forget too much about that day.

When I left work on Monday night I guaranteed that I’d be in the next day because we had very minimal coverage for the office and I just didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to go into labor early or on time.  “What if you go into labor tomorrow” they asked, but I knew I would not go into labor.  I left work that Monday night and headed to the chiropractor’s office where I went weekly.  I told them I was there for the adjustment that would make me go into labor and then I laughed because I was very much joking since there is no such adjustment.

That night my mom made us dinner and we finished catching up with “Blacklist”.  We walked home (she lives VERY close) and as I walked into the house I thought my bladder had decided to give out.  I went to the bathroom and saw some blood.  I knew that was it; baby Adeline was coming soon.  My water breaking wasn’t the gushing kind, it was a slow, constant trickle so at first I wasn’t sure if it was just my bladder or if it was actually my water, but the blood confirmed it.   At 10:00 my water had broken and things were going to start happening.   I called my sister-in-law who had texted me an hour earlier that two of her kids came on their due date.  I had responded telling her that was crazy and I just knew it wasn’t happening to me.  I called my mom to fill her in on was going on so she’d be ready to go when it was time to leave for the hospital, and then we called our doula.  At this point I was nervous, a little scared, and so excited to meet our baby girl.

I had considered a doula before but wasn’t sure and didn’t want to pay for one.  I went to an appointment with one of my midwives she mentioned a doula at that appointment.   I was extra nervous at that appointment, likely because I was getting to the halfway point and I really wanted a natural birth.  I had heard so many horror stories of women being pressured into interventions they didn’t want or unnecessary c-sections.  I knew what I wanted for my body and my baby.  Mr. C and I were on the same page.  We decided a doula was a good investment and once we met with Kelly we were sold.  She had a calming presence and I am so thankful we had her. 

We called Kelly who then called the midwife on call to let her know what was happening and then called me back to discuss my options.  Although I could go to the hospital, it wasn’t recommended by anyone and part of our plan was that I’d labor at home as long as possible.  She (and the midwife) advised that I take a shower if I’d like and suggested we try to get some sleep.  I washed my hair and laid down to try to rest.  The contractions were getting more serious at this point and after maybe 45 minutes I couldn’t see how anyone could rest.  I would lay down and then get up and go to the bathroom.  My back hurt but the leg cramps were the worst.  Mr. C massaged my lower back, my legs, and was encouraging.  We tried some essential oils, but oh man, those leg cramps just kept getting worse.  I was also so cold.  I was breathing through the pain and trying different positions, but at a certain point I decided that I needed to get in the shower to try to relax a bit since nothing was helping with the pain. 

I stood in the shower and Mr. C and I chatted when I could.  I know we laughed a few times and he kept telling me I was doing great.  My legs were shaking so much it was hard to stand.  Things seemed to kick into overdrive.  He began timing the contractions again and around that time I began feeling like I needed to push.  My body began to push involuntarily.  Mr. C called the doula at 1:34 and she told him to get to the hospital ASAP.  She called the midwife to let her know we were on our way and called the hospital as well so they’d know to take us up immediately since we had to go through the emergency entrance since the women’s entrance closed at night.  I’m so thankful for this.  I learned later that had we not had Kelly to call ahead, I likely would have delivered in the ER or a nurse would have delivered our baby because the midwife would not have made it.

Mr. C had called my mom, but he almost left her when she wasn’t at our house.  He started turning the car the other way and I told him he was forgetting her.  I could tell he was stressed as he pounded on her front door.  Apparently he hadn’t filled my mom in about how serious things had gotten and when she got in the car her face changed.   I found out later that she had put blush on.  Ha!

In the meantime, Kelly had called me back and was breathing with me through the phone, telling me that I needed to not push and to hold the baby in there.  Let me tell you, this was not an easy feat.  At one point she asked me to reach down and see if I could feel a head.  That did not sound fun at all.  Mr. C may have sped a bit to get us to the hospital.  I continued talking to Kelly when I could, focusing on breathing, and my mom held my hand as I breathed through each contraction.

When we got to the hospital I walked myself in, sat in the wheelchair, and instead of taking me up to delivery as instructed, they took my blood pressure and asked me some stupid questions like my weight.  I wanted to yell “WHO CARES PEOPLE???  I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!”.  Mr. C  parked, ran in, and they wheeled me up to delivery.  I was able to skip triage and go straight to a room.  I had purchased a comfy nightgown to wear during delivery instead of the hospital gown but our bags were still in the car.  I halfway put on the hospital gown not really caring what I wore, got myself to the bed, and the midwife checked my progress at 2:08.  She told me the baby’s head was right there and finally I was able to start pushing.

At 2:12 I began pushing.  It was hard and painful but it was also amazing.  I’m told that there were some nurses in and out of the room but all I saw was Mr. C, my mom, Kelly, Amanda (the midwife), and Erin, an amazing nurse.  Kelly was taking pictures and showed me one of her head so I could see the baby was right there ready to make her appearance.  I never imagined I’d want to see that, but it was pretty amazing.  Everyone was encouraging and I couldn’t have asked for a better support group.  There was no screaming, minimal swearing, and even some laughing on my part.  Between contractions everyone just stood there and somehow I had nothing on at that point.  During one of the breaks I said “wow, this is awkward” and we all laughed before the next contraction hit.  After pushing for 32 minutes I pushed her out, reached down and pulled her out and up to my chest.  She didn’t look at all like I had imagined and it was honestly just so surreal for the first couple of hours, but she was here.

Adeline Rose Kay was born at 2:44am weighing 7 lbs 12oz on my due date, election day.  Her middle names are after her great-grandma and both of her grandmothers.  I didn’t cry until I went to say her name for the first time after she was born and then I had to have Mr. C say it out loud.

Photo by: Crissy Delacy

I delivered the placenta shortly after (it’s ridiculous you have a baby and then ALSO have to have a placenta btw) and was still bleeding.  Apparently the upper sack had burst and there were pieces stuck inside me.  The bleeding would continue until all the pieces were gone.  I ended up getting a shot of pitocin, they gave me an IV with 2 bags of pitocin as well to stop the bleeding, and some pills along with about 45 minutes of pulling pieces out of me.  There was a time during all of this when I realized that I should probably be worried.  It was painful and possibly worse than the labor portion, but I am grateful I had such a great team. 

The hospital was amazing and many things I wanted were standard there; immediate skin-to-skin contact for mom and baby, delayed cord clamping, and the baby being measured and evaluated on me instead of being taken away.  Mr. C cut the cord.  They only took Adeline for a moment to weigh her when I was ready; everything else was done with Adeline on my chest.  Had I not been bleeding so much I would have not had to have had an IV.  I was able to breastfeed her right away and because I had no interventions, she was wide awake.

At some point my mom had made her way to the corner to quietly sit and give Mr. C and I some time with Adeline.  When I asked if she wanted to hold her she quickly jumped up and exclaimed “of course!”.  It was so early that we didn’t text or call anyone for a bit.  It was nice having it be a few of us, just enjoying our new little girl.  Kelly got us settled and took off.  The rooms I’d be staying in after delivery were full so we waited for a few hours over the shift change.  I ordered breakfast, which was amazing, and we began calling and texting to share the news.  I should have slept but I couldn’t do anything but hold Adeline and stare at her.  It was so odd that that little baby had been inside of me hours before and she was ours.

I thought leaving the hospital would be the scary part, but it really wasn’t.  For the most part we had been left alone in the room other than the check-ins on me for the bleeding, checks to see if we needed anything, and random people stopping in.  Adeline slept in a bassinet next to me and we had a day and a half of caring for her with nurses a call away if we needed help.  I was able to see a lactation consultant when I needed assistance and when I left I knew I was able to feed my baby.  We could have stayed longer but it seemed like we knew as much as we were going to and if we went home we could at least sleep in our own bed.   I did miss food being just a call away though.

Adeline is four weeks old tomorrow and I’m not quite sure how that happened so quickly.  I’ve been soaking up very moment with her and Mr. C. during our time off together.  There are moments that have been difficult like the first nights when it seemed like we woke up every hour and she’d only sleep when we held her, the cluster feedings and knowing I was the only one who could feed her even though I was exhausted, the worrying when I can’t hear her constantly breathing or moving at night, and changing her outfit three times in three hours because she spit up on everything. 

I didn’t feel great for a lot of my pregnancy, which I never expected.  Along with that, I also experienced some prenatal depression.  I wasn’t sure what to expect when she arrived and there was a period when I was pregnant in which it was hard to be excited about anything.  I’m tired but to say it’s worth it is an understatement.  I miss Adeline when she’s asleep and her cries can make my heart break.  I can’t imagine not having this little girl in our lives.  Life with a baby is a lot easier than I thought it would be.  My mom even commented that I seem very calm.  I actually feel pretty calm which isn’t a word she’d typically use to describe me.  I worried that I’d still feel the way I had been feeling when she arrived, but it’s quite the opposite.  I can’t say I looked at her and was flooded with an overwhelming love, but by the time we left the hospital I certainly was.  It was more something that started and crept in.  I’m calm because she’s ours and somehow we seem to know what we’re doing, and the rest we figure out as we go.  We’re doing what works for us.

Recovery for me was easier than expected and within a few days we were going out.  I’m someone who’s never been good at sitting at home so I’m not sure why I expected anything different.  I’m still me, just me as a mom.  I love my makeup and I’ve managed to shower everyday, get my makeup done, and keep the house semi clean.  My life is different but it’s a good different and I can’t imagine life without this perfect little person that’s a bit of both of us and so much more.

Photo by: Crissy Delacy

Catching Up

It's been a very long time since I blogged.  These past few months have been an adjustment period in a lot of ways and I've been kind of floating through the weeks until lately.  I'm feeling a little bit more like my old self these days, just with an extra large belly and severe forgetfulness.  Here's what's been happening in the past few months.

The first few months of pregnancy were so much harder than I imagined.  At one point I had three different medications because I felt so sick all the time.  I was finally able to get off of these and although I have nausea fairly frequently it's so much better than it was, and it's manageable at this point.

I definitely look pregnant now and I feel it as well!  While I'm sure the baby kicked earlier, I first recognized it as baby movement while laying in bed on the 4th of July.  Mr. C. felt a couple weeks later when the kicks got forceful enough to feel from the outside.

We did a lot of work on the room from painting the entire thing, to ripping up carpet and laying engineered hardwood, to painting a dresser and some things on the walls.  I'll be posting a nursery post once it's all done so I'm not sharing too much yet!  We spent quite awhile looking for a gliding rocker I liked (ordered online!) and a crib (also online!) which we waited about a month for.  The crib is all together now and I really love it!  It was most definitely worth the wait.

Between redoing floors, house guests, and pet guests, we just got our house back and spent this past weekend cleaning like crazy.  I don't think I've ever cleaned as much in one weekend as we did this past weekend, but the house finally feels like home again which means I can actually relax.  I learned a long time ago that my living space greatly impacts my stress level and I do not do well in a messy or cluttered space.

This summer Mr. C and I had some days off together due to my summer schedule and Mr. C's few weeks off in the summer.  We spent our Monday mornings eating breakfast out, swimming on Sunday afternoons, and getting things ready around the house on the weekends.

This summer went fast and somehow I'm already at 29 weeks.  I still remember being 5 weeks along, terrified in the hospital that I was going to lose our baby.  I'm so grateful that everything was fine, and feel blessed to have had a healthy pregnancy other than feeling icky for a lot of it.  So far things have been very good and she's been active at the few ultrasounds we've had.  She moves a lot during the day and her kicks and turns are getting more forceful.  I think she's been practicing her somersaults lately.  Her heartbeat is always good, I'm finally feeling more normal, and I passed my glucose test!

We spent a week in NE this summer and it was amazing.  I always love seeing all the green and the weather was great.  Mr. C and I walked around the lake by my parent's house almost every morning.  That's one of my favorite things to do and that lake is one of my favorite places back home.  We spent the first days with a couple friends who picked us up from the airport.  We didn't do anything spectacular but as always it was nice to just hang out, play games, and catch up.  I was blessed with a beautiful surprise baby shower as well and was so overwhelmed with everyone who showed up to help us celebrate.  Throughout the trip we spent time with family and friends and really had a chance to relax.  That was the last plane ride with just the two of us.

I expect the next few months will be full of baby things.  We have a couple classes, showers, and I have a baby room to finish and organize. We've decided on a name (unless she looks nothing like the name we've picked) but we're keeping it to ourselves until she's born.  I'm enjoying our still semi-spontaneous dinners out after work, cooking time consuming meals during the week,  watching too much TV, late night grocery store shopping, sleeping in, and time with Coconut before the baby comes. Every now and then I panic a little bit thinking about giving all of this up, changing this life we've built that we love, but that's short lived and I remember that we're starting a new adventure and although it will be different that's okay.  I am glad we've had the time together just the two of us for so long.  I have no doubt that things will change but I know I have an amazing partner beside me, one who is already a great dad to this little girl.

Baked Wings

This weekend I finally found of the energy I’d been missing.  The house is cleaner than it’s been in months and a clean house just makes me so happy.  After being so productive Saturday, we had time to just relax and do some fun stuff.  We spent some time on Sunday looking at paint colors and chairs for the nursery and it’s sooooo exciting!  We found out last week though a blood test (was it just last week?) that we’re having a girl and I couldn’t be happier!  I’m super anxious to get the walls painted, the floor laid, and start decorating for this little girl!

I’m getting back to my normal eating habits with the exception of the ice cream that’s continuing in my otherwise sugar-free lifestyle.  Sunday evening Mr. C made this chicken while I whipped up a salad and some sautéed corn with jalapenos.

I usually ask Mr. C if he has any meal requests when I sit down to meal plan for the week, and this chicken and my Chipotle Avocado BLTS seem to come up every single week.  My aunt introduced us to this simple recipe and since then it’s been a regular in our meal rotation.  These chicken wings are one of the easiest things to make and the hardest part is waiting the hour for them to bake.  The best part is that while the skin probably isn’t the healthiest thing, it’s a heck of a lot better than it’s usual fried form.  Add some corn on the cob, a salad, and you’ve got yourself a great meal.

When you buy the chicken, make sure you’re buying wingettes instead of wings.  The wings have multiple parts and you can use them but you have to cut them apart.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the type of person who is okay touching raw chicken longer than necessary.

Here’s the super simple recipe:

Line a baking sheet with foil and preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Spread chicken wingettes out on the tray.  Season with salt and pepper on both sides.  We like a lot of pepper on ours.

Bake for one hour or until brown and crispy.

That’s it!  Easy peasy!

Where's my Glow?

This pregnancy has not been at all what I expected.  I'm not sure why but I always thought I'd be one of the lucky women who had no sickness.  I just expected to feel amazing and I'd be glowing and so happy about the baby growing inside of me.  While I still think the entire process is pretty amazing, I have to say that so far this pregnancy thing is not fun.  Whoever said it's "magical" was a liar (probably a man), and the more I hear about new things I'll get to experience the more not fun it sounds.  I think there was a week where I knew I was pregnant and felt normal and thought that things were pretty great.  Then the sickness hit.  Well meaning people keep telling me that it will pass and sharing their simple solutions like "eat crackers".  Well people, I've eaten crackers and tried candied ginger and raspberry leaf tea and everything else you can think of.  I'm on pills to make it better and they seem to work for only a few hours of the day. I'm grateful it's something but when I feel like my eyes are going to fly out during one of my puking fits it sure doesn't seem like it's doing much.  So when these well meaning people say these well meaning things, it takes a lot of self-control to not just punch them in the face because I'm not a moron and I've tried it all.  

I thought I'd be glowing, journaling daily, blogging about the wonderful things that happened along the way, and writing in my pregnancy book, but at this point I'm still too tired or sick to do anything.  My pregnancy app currently tells me that things should be "low maintenance" now but again it's just lies.  LIES!  

Our house has been in a constant state of disarray over the past few months with no signs of anything changing.  I went from having a "to do" list of 5-10 things per evening to settling for 1-2 per week.  This week I hope to paint my nails before the nausea turns to the migraine that nothing can help.  Our nursery has no floor and the office is so full of stuff from the guest room (from moving things to redo that floor) that it's barely identifiable as an office.

In other news, we just found out it's a girl and couldn't be more thrilled!  Since I can remember I've pictured myself with a little girl and now I'm so excited to start really planning the nursery and buy some overpriced cute clothing.  In the meantime we've purchased a few used things like a baby sling and a play mat and it's so weird to see baby things in my house.  I see them and think "who the heck is that for?"  It's a weird concept, this baby thing.

A couple weeks ago I was feeling exceptionally horrible.  There's no break from the sickness, emotionally I was struggling with some things, and it just seemed like the flu that never ended.  I was not in the best of moods when we went to the perinatal doctor, but when we saw little Baby C. on the ultrasound (our fourth ultrasound but best by far), it lifted my mood enough and reminded me that although I feel like it's a bad case of the flu, there really is more going on, and eventually this will all be worth it.  Now that I know it's a little girl it's beginning to seem even more real and being able to say "she" is amazing.  My mom was asking me about "her" room earlier (Baby C's) and it was so nice to be able to think of a little girl in there instead of an "it".  

I hope things get better but for now I'm still trying to just focus on the fact that we're both healthy, I know she's in there growing, and I just keep praying that one day the sickness and headaches cease and I can just enjoy this.  In the meantime feel free to say a prayer for me and under no circumstances should you ask if I've tried eating crackers in the morning to help things.

I'm pregnant!

I began writing this a couple months ago but finally decided it was time to post it.  It takes me a long time to do things these days :)

I am a planner, and I always have ideas of the way I think things will be.  As we all know, the world doesn't work that way.  I had no doubts I was pregnant pretty early on.  Mr. C had been eyeing a messenger bag and I decided to order it for him along with a dad book and I'd give it to him the morning I saw the positive test which I just knew was just days away.  I took multiple tests and they came up negative.  Waiting the two weeks to take the tests in the first place was the longest time ever, but then having them come up negative was more crushing than I anticipated.  I knew it could take time, but I also have worried for years that maybe I'd be that person who wasn't able to have kids.  About a week after the last negative test and some sporatic spotting I came home from work and took another test.  It was positive.  I was optimistically happy but so very confused.  I told Mr. C, my mom, and decided to be the crazy woman who would show up at the doctor's office the next morning and demand a blood test.  I got the first blood test and was told that I'd need to go back monday for the next.  Luckily my best friend was flying in that day and she managed to keep me distracted throughout the weekend.  

Tuesday I waited for my phone to ring.  I stared at it between work appointments and finally I called and left a message.  I received a call back confirming that I was in fact pregnant.  I somehow pulled myself together enough to call Mr. C and my mom to share the news and went on with my day at work.  That night I was finally able to give him the bag with the book.  Telling him through a whispered voice on the phone while we were both at work was not at all how I pictured the moment, but we were happy nonetheless.  Telling my mom was not the fun way I expected to share the news either, nor was telling my dad, but that's how things go.

We were able to surprise Mr. C's family, some friends, and keep things under wraps from everyone else for a few weeks.  

At 6 weeks I remember being relieved that things were going so well and then I found myself in the hospital later that very same day, scared that maybe my worries were true and this wasn't going to be so easy for us.  I was lucky enough to have a friend take me.  I'm not sure how I would have gotten myself there otherwise because I was a mess and about to fall apart but she somehow kept me together and I let a little bit of myself believe that when she said everything would be fine, that it really would be.  It felt like we waited forever in the waiting room.  Finally I had an ultrasound and over an hour later they confirmed that things seemed to be alright.  I was so relieved.

Later that week we went in for our scheduled ultrasound which was surreal.  We actually got to hear the heart beat and this time we left with pictures.  The pictures showed us this tiny blob that apparently was a baby.  We were both excited, but watching Mr. C's eyes light up when we heard the heart beat was my favorite part of that experience.  It was all seeming so real.

We had planned to wait until 10-12 weeks to make the news "Facebook official" and tell everyone at work, but decided that 10 weeks was plenty of time.  We'd had 3 ultrasounds with a heart beat and my issues had cleared up.  We posted an announcement on facebook and sat there for a few minutes staring at the computer as it dinged away with "likes" and comments.  It filled my heart to read the loving comments from people genuinely excited for our news.

It still seems a bit surreal especially since I haven't started showing yet, but I know there's a baby in there.  I've seen it waving its little arms around on an ultrasound.  I feel my body acting in ways it hasn't acted before and I have these food cravings I can only blame on the baby.  I gave up sugar a year ago and haven't looked back but this baby has made all of that come crashing down.  Apparently the baby likes ice cream and tropical skittles.  Although these few months have not been what I'd describe as fun, I am thankful for the time to adjust to the idea that there's going to be a baby (OURS!) in the house soon.

Weekend Wrap-Up

This past weekend was one of my favorite weekends this year.  I realize that we haven’t had too many weekends in 2016, but nevertheless it was amazing. 

Saturday morning began with a hike.  This wasn’t just any hike though; it was my first moderate hike and the 4 miles on the map looked super easy.  The real thing wasn’t so easy for me, but when we got to the top of the mountain I was pretty proud of myself.  Right before we reached the top I had to stop for a few minutes to catch my breath.  I was feeling like we’d never reach the top and was not in the best of moods.  I turned around, looked down the trail, and saw a woman doubled over right before she threw up.  In that moment I remembered that someone always has it worse.  Although I felt bad for that poor woman, I felt accomplished to not be puking and continued on my way.  Although I complained a bit (or a lot), at the end of any hike I always feel refreshed and accomplished.  I’m horrible at shutting down my mind, leaving technology behind, and not trying to do way too many things at once, but hiking is a way for me to step aside, take a breath, and just enjoy being and spending some quality time with Mr. C.

I was feeling adventurous after a successful hike and suggested a new Thai place for lunch.  My mom thinks things with onions are spicy, but she ordered her food medium spicy even after I raised my eyebrows.  We all ended up with medium, but my mom and Mr . C’s food was much spicier than mine.  As great as my food was, the best part was listening to the conversation between Mr. C and my mom regarding how spicy their food was.  At one point I asked Mr. C how his was and he responded that he his vision was so blurred because his eyes were watering so badly.   Hilarious stuff.

We had some friends over Saturday night.  These are the kind of friends that make anything fun.  We could have been cleaning the tiles with a toothbrush and I probably would have still enjoyed it.  At one point during a game I looked around, heard the laughter filling our living room, and was so happy.  I love the home we’ve made, and I really love having people we love in it.

Sunday morning we headed to church for a musical service.  Since I couldn’t be bothered to read the email Friday I had no idea that the service would be all musical, so it was a great surprise!   I left feeling refreshed and I didn’t even have to hike a mountain this time.

We spent some more time with some friends and then I decided to do some adulting.  Not only did I file our taxes in JANUARY, but I also cleaned out the fridge.  Pretty exciting stuff right there.  Being productive is a requirement for me to feel good about the day, so that really topped off the weekend. 

Mr. C worked while my mom and I made this dinner together.  This is one of my all time favorite dinners and I could totally eat it everyday.  Just as I started putting on my Jamberry after months of having nails too short,  it began raining with the lightning and thunder starting shortly after.  It was a perfect ending to my version of a perfect weekend.

Did you do anything fun this weekend?