I wrote most of this over a week ago, but wasn’t quite
finished. Everything takes a
little bit longer to do with a little human and a full-time job.
I could hear it in his voice as I
listened to my message. I actually had an inkling when I saw his name come up
on my phone as we were finishing dinner, so I didn't answer. I called him back
and knew instantly. My sweet grandma had passed away earlier that evening. We
all knew it was coming and I had said goodbye more times than I could count. I
knew when I saw her at Christmas that it would be my last time with her.
She was sick, had lost her memory and a lot of her spirit, and I'm happy she's
not in pain, but losing someone is always hard, even if there wasn’t a lot of
them left to lose.
I had two amazing grandmothers, both
special in their own way. My mom's
mom was the one I considered my "cool" grandma. She had her eye
makeup tattooed on; she dressed in bright colors and wore things you wouldn't
picture a grandmother in. She didn't leave her bedroom before she was dressed
with makeup even when she wasn’t leaving the house all day. I think that's part
of why I tend to do the same. I
always admired that she wanted to look her best for no one but herself. She stayed up late watching scary movies
and slept in until 9 unlike most of the other grandmas I knew. She’d scratch
your arm until you became sleepy, gave the best hugs, and talked to me like I
was a full-grown person before I really was. She called me out when I was 7 because
I’d clearly cheated in a duo solitaire game. She and my grandpa lived in
Scottsdale rather than Sun City and they went to some pretty hip places to eat.
She was the most organized person I’ve ever met. She loved her label maker and lists and may be the reason I
love post-it notes so much. She had a great sense of humor and was most
definitely an optimist. When something made her happy she'd say she was
"tickled" about it. She was a giving person and loved sharing what
she had. Everyone who knew her
loved her because she was easy to love.
My grandma loved games, particularly
backgammon. When Mr. C played her the first few times I could tell he was going
easy and letting her win. I warned him. It wasn't long until he realized that
my grandma played to win and took chances that usually paid off. She loved
keeping score and when she lost by a lot she’d say you “skunked” her. As she got older she still continued to
beat us, even after falling asleep during the game for a few minutes (this
happened a lot).
In our sugar eating days my grandma always had oatmeal
raisin cookies for Mr. C when we visited and she'd send him home with a big
bag. He was like a 5 year old,
always excited about the cookies and taking a bag home. I know they liked the cookies too, but
I really think she always made sure to have them for when we stopped over.
It was no secret that my grandma loved chocolate and nuts
and ice cream, preferably all eaten together. She also loved eating her desert first and made it known
that she had no desire to carry on a conversation while she was trying to enjoy
her desert. When I was younger
we’d pick up pints of dairy queen soft serve and hot fudge and take it to their
house for desert. My grandma
always had roasted peanuts waiting for the Sundays. I, of course, loved the hot fudge the most and most times my
grandma would let me lick the hot fudge serving spoon off once we were
done. She even encouraged loading
the spoon up with the fudge before licking it, ensuring that I basically ate a
big spoon full of fudge.
My grandpa kissed my grandma goodnight every single night
before heading to bed. They were
an amazing couple and their long lasting love and friendship is something I
strive for in my own marriage.
They certainly had their moments, and they had been through a lot; young
teenagers who got together even though her family didn’t approve, newlyweds
with a baby separated at wartime when my grandpa enlisted and was deployed,
later my grandpa becoming an entrepreneur in many areas and my grandma a
homemaker who sewed clothes for her kids and taught Sunday school, and finally
a retired couple who had come so far from where they started. They were a couple who raised three
kids, had 10 grandchildren, 21 great grandchildren, and 78 years of
marriage. When my grandma got too
sick to be home, it broke my grandpa’s heart, but he visited her everyday.
My grandma had been disappearing one piece at a time, but
it’s odd to know that I won’t visit her again when I go back home. I won’t wonder if she’ll know me or
what her mood will be.
I will think of my grandma when I see something lime
green, when I play backgammon on the very loved board she gave me, when I see a
label, or eat a hot fudge Sunday.
I see her in my mom so much; in her hands; in the way she
clasps them together and the way she holds Adeline’s hand. Last week her laugh sounded like my
grandma’s laugh I remember so well.
I will remember my grandma as a loving and kind soul and
honor her by striving my best to be like her.
