"What! You're abandoning me?"

I vividly remember the moment when I was officially on my own, physically speaking at least. I had wanted to attend ASU for years. I was ecstatic when everything eventually fell into place. I had been accepted, received a scholarship, and miraculously packed up all my stuff (the packing was thanks to my wonderful mother and friend who had to sit me down and force me to start!).

I consider myself to be a "big picture" sort of person but apparently I had failed to really grasp the whole leaving home/family/friends part of my Arizona plan. This portion of the picture finally started to sink in a couple of days before I moved. I said my good-byes throughout the week and handled most of them with dignity. I saved the hardest for last. I left my best friend’s house and cried the whole night before I left. It was so hard leaving my family, friends, and all familiarity behind. The next day we left for Arizona with a very, very full van. Two days later we made it to AZ and I settled into my dorm room. I was excited about classes, my new roommates, and my new state!

That's when the terrifying part happened. A day or two later, after dinner with my parents they dropped me back at the dorms. My mom casually mentioned that they were leaving the next day to drive back home. My response: “What! You’re leaving? You’re abandoning me?” (And yes, that is verbatim. My mom always reminds me of how terrible I made her feel when I told her she was "abandoning" me, especially when it had been my choice, my dream!) Of course I didn’t expect my parents to stay forever but I was suddenly overwhelmed with all the huge changes taking place. I was starting to realize that soon it would just be me in a state with no friends and no family. I've always considered myself a very independent person but at that moment I wanted to just pack my stuff up, move back home, and stay there until I turned 40. Either I realized that wasn't a seriously viable option or I figured my dad would kill me. Either way, I somehow willed myself to walk back to my room like a big girl and suck it up.

Of course things worked out – I adjusted to college life, made some amazing friends, and of course met my amazing husband.


While hugging my parents good-bye this morning after a weekend visit, I thought of this story - my first good-bye in Arizona. I've come so far since that day. For one, I'm not such a wuss! While good-byes have become much easier, it still breaks my heart to have to say good-bye to the wonderful family and friends who visit us. So, my sappy post today is dedicated to all the family and friends who are now far away but always close in my heart. I suppose there is something to be said about really appreciating what you have more when it's gone (or far away) but sometimes a girl just wants to be among far-away family, old friends, and familiarity.

Hey, I said it was sappy!