29 things

Last week I turned 29.  Wasn’t I 25 yesterday?  In all honesty, I really have no desire to be 25, or even 21 again, but 27 is another story.  Although it may feel like I was just 25 yesterday, when I really think back to my late college self, I realize just how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned about relationships, myself, and life in general.  Here are the 29 most important things I know now at 29.

1. What you put in your body is important. I weigh my options when I'm looking at food.  I buy only brown cage-free eggs now, I prefer my beef to be grass-fed, and I do appreciate organic and GMO-free options.  I simply can't eat what I ate when I was 21.

2. Friendships change.  In my mid 20's and even a couple years ago, this was very hard to accept.  I struggled to hold onto relationships that were over and resisted change with others.  I've come to realize that some friendships are toxic, some have run their course but will always hold a special place in my heart, and others are unconventional but just work.

3. It's great to have someone cheering for you in your corner, but nothing shows true friends more than when hard times hit.  These are the times that make or break many friendships, but it's like weeding out a garden.  The friends left are the ones who stick around for the cold, the freezes, the harsh winds, and the days after.

4. Parents are people too.  They were people before me and were once the young couple with their whole lives before them.  They don't know everything but their advice is priceless, even when I don't listen.  

5. Wine and dark chocolate should be considered staples.

6.  Medical stuff can be the scariest thing on earth.  I'm terrified of sharks but nothing is quite as terrifying as medical related things.  Hearing the word "cancer", among other scary medical conditions, in any sentence directed at you or someone you love in a doctor's office is scary as hell.

7. Opinions change.  Things I thought were horrible 5 years ago don't seem so horrible now.  Everyone has their own method of parenting, dealing with relationship issues, and life views, and that’s ok.  Diversity is what keeps things interesting.

8. Plans change.  The straight line that was going to me from point A in my life to point B now looks like a 2 year old's drawing of a tornado on a line graph.  Detours happen, but these detours can be some of the best thing; things we didn't even know we wanted.

9. People who are dragging you down because of their negative attitude, gossip, or meanness, aren't worth your time.  Usually they're unhappy with themselves and taking it out on everyone else.  Move on; there are a lot of amazing people out there!

10. Big things are important in a marriage/relationship, but the little things are just as important sometimes.  Sometimes a small, thoughtful gesture says more than an over-the-top one ever could.

11. Morals matter more than money.  When I was younger I remember telling my dad that I just wanted a job I was happy with.  He argued that I'd want a job I could make money with.  It turns out we were both right.  I had 3 job offers a month or so after graduating and I took the one that paid the best.  After a month I left because I couldn't stand the lack of business morals.  I ended up in the low paying job with people I loved and an environment that fit my values.  Money is important, but it’s never worth selling out if you’re unhappy or compromising your values.

12. Everyone is dealing with something, whether they talk about it or not.  Cut them some slack, understand that they may have more going on than you could ever imagine, and let it go (I hear the frozen song in my head everytime I type/say that...).

13. Exercising really can be fun, or at least not horrible.  I never thought I'd get there, but I actually enjoy working out.  I mostly love the feeling after and knowing I'm doing something great for myself.  I learned what I like and I’ve finally stopped trying to be a gym person.  It’s just not for me.

14. Be yourself.  At this time in my life I have a pretty good idea of who I am and who I'm not.  I have strong values.  I know what kind of music I like, the food I prefer, and the kinds of people I want around me.  I’ve wished I was another kind of person at times, but I am who I am and I’m pretty happy with that.

15. Don't be afraid to fail.  I took a job for which I wasn't prepared, didn't get the training/support I was assured I'd have, and realized quickly that I had taken the job for the wrong reasons.  I remember talking to my mom when I told her I was going to quit and she expressed worry that I'd regret it.  I quit the job after less than a week (yes, it was that bad, and I don’t quit jobs easily) and have no regrets.  Sometimes you have to just accept that something didn't work, learn the lesson, and move on.

16. Sometimes you just need to say no and that's okay.  Most of the time, no explanation is necessary.

17. You can't expect people to read your mind.  When I was little I wanted a pink convertible for my barbies so badly.  I asked Santa for it 3 years in a row, and finally during the third year I complained to my mom that Santa just wasn't doing his job very well.  I finally received that long awaited toy that third year.  It's hard to expect people to read your mind, and it’s certainly not fair to be mad when that doesn’t happen.

18. God does have a plan.  Sometimes it feels like everything is falling apart, but we only see the little bit in front of us whereas God sees everything.  So many times I've been upset because something didn't work only to find out later (sometimes years later) that I dodged a bullet.

19. Change is easier in some ways, harder in others, and completely inevitable.

20. If something about someone else annoys you, you're probably annoyed because you dislike that quality in yourself.

21. In general, things are not as difficult as they seem.   Usually the hardest step is the first.

22. People will always ask intrusive questions.  Handle them with tact and try not to turn into one of those people asking the intrusive questions.

23. Driving across the country without stopping is not as easy as it was 5 years ago.

24. It’s important to pick your battles and sometimes that means letting the little things go.

25. Surroundings have a profound impact on attitude and happiness.  I'm talking about the aesthetic things; textures, colors, smells, light, etc.  I'm so much happier when I'm surrounded by pretty things and it's hard for me to think when things around me are messy or dirty.

26. Whoever determined the recommended 8-9 hours of sleep was onto something.  I’m not quite sure how to make that happen along with working, cooking, laundry, and life, but it’s a great feeling when it works out.

27.  You can handle more than you think.  It's shocking what you can do when you have to.  I look back on things now, some minor, and some major, and wonder how I got through that time in my life.  Usually it was a combination of supportive friends and family, my family, positive thinking, and determination.

28.  Sometimes you just need to fall apart.  Life can be hard.  Bad things happen; people get sick, finances are tight, people die, and there have been times I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide out until things got better.  It’s okay to fall apart now and then and sometimes it’s very necessary.  Take a breath and remember that things will get better.

29. There will always be something to do, but sometimes it's best to make the decision to forget it all for awhile and have some fun.  Some of my best memories involve silly, stupid moments.

Age is just a number (to an extent).  I thought I’d have it all together by this point, but that’s not quite how things work.  I don’t have everything together, but I’m figuring it out as I go and I think I’m doing alright.  There’s no magical age that everything clicks (or so I’ve heard) and I imagine that when I’m 39 I’ll still be trying to figure everything out, but that’s okay.