Graduation Gratitude

I was the first in my family to graduate with a bachelor’s degree and last weekend I became the first in my family to graduate with my master’s degree.  I never thought I’d have my master’s degree by the time I was 25 but I’m so happy and proud that I do.  It’s been a long road to get here but I’ve had a lot of support along the way.   

This degree was a bit different for me because it was my own choosing.  My B.A. was too, but I felt like that was more of an expectation whereas this degree was just for me, something I wanted for my future, my career, and just because I could.  It was something extra.

When I was ordering my gown there was an option to purchase a stole of gratitude.  While I partially think this is just to suck more money out of the already broke students, it really is a great theory.  The stole is to be warn during the ceremony and then written on and given to someone who assisted the student along the way.  I put in the long nights, the hours of studying, and sat through a five hour night class for weeks.  But, nothing is ever really done alone and I’d like to take this opportunity for my blog of gratitude (much cheaper than the stole!).

The past three semesters have been a bit hectic and were quite a balancing act. There were times I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through the semester and I figured if I did my sanity would be lost along the way.  There were times I wanted to quit but I just couldn’t because that’s not how I roll!  I knew I wouldn’t be happy with myself if I didn’t give it my all so I did and somehow I made it!  My crazy organization skills and love of list making came in handy keeping me focused.  I’m also super lucky to have such supportive people in my life who were rooting for me!

Many nights when I was too tired to do anything else, Mr. C has gotten lunches ready for the next day or finished the laundry so I didn’t have to wait up for it.   I’ve appreciated this even more because he’s also working a full-time job, tutoring on the side, and is currently a student as well.  He’s a great listener and got plenty of practice over the last year or so when multiple things were stressing me out and I’d need to vent or just ramble which is my standard.  He made me make time for fun and even helped with my minimal procrastination.   He’s a pretty great husband and I’m sure I don’t say that enough! 

My friend Ms. M was one of my greatest cheerleaders, encouraging me to pursue my dreams, never dismissing my crazy ideas as “crazy” and attempting to help me decipher my stats book when I just wanted to give up (which was too often this semester).  Sometimes it was just nice to know that the statistics problem really wasn’t solvable and it wasn’t just me!  She’s been a great reminder of what a true friend looks like and I’m so grateful for that.

My parents have encouraged me in their own way.  My dad made sure to ask me how my grades were and I was proud when I reported back.  My mom cheered me on when I was tired, stressed, and taking on too much.  I’d occasionally shoot down her ideas but she has some good ones now and then.  I don’t think either one of them had a clue what my actual degree was until the last semester but I THINK they have it down now.  They flew out for my graduation and my dad even let me take a picture with him.  That’s a miracle in itself!  My mom, like Mr. C., did a lot of listening to my rambling and that probably deserves an award.

I appreciated the congratulatory calls, emails, cards, and FB posts too.   Thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate and put up with my flakiness during the past year and a half! 

I’m now looking forward to having some spare time to focus on all the goals that got pushed to the side while I was focusing on school.  Scrapbooking, reading my tons of unread books, using my millions of cookbooks, working out, taking walks with the puppy, and spending a Saturday simply playing games and watching TV on the couch (yes, I understand this does not fit well with my working out goal) are at the top of my list.  Well, all of this AFTER we move because I haven’t seen much spare time lately.  Oh, and writing more!  More posts to come soon including our super fun trip to Bearizona with super cute pics of the baby bears!

 So, here’s to the end of the semester (specifically that horrible stats class!), the earning of my degree, and the wonderful support I had along the way. 

Mrs. C., M.Ed. 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!   Although it's technically Mother's day, today I’m also thankful for my mother-in-law (of course!), grandparents, aunts, and friends who have touched my life in their own motherly way and I am so grateful for their presence in my life.  And of course, I’m super thankful for my mother. 

With everything that’s been going on lately my mom got jipped on a mom blog on her birthday.  Luckily, mother’s day is here to save me! 

I wasn’t exactly the easiest child.  I’m fairly terrified that my child will be like me and that’s a very scary thought.  The biggest issue was that I didn’t go to bed.  I didn’t like going to bed because I was scared of the boogie man, monsters, and someone abducting me.  That last one was Oprah’s fault because she had a special about child abductions.  One night in particular I refused to go to bed because I was just sure I’d be abducted.   My tired, frustrated mother decided to use logic and math to fix the situation.  She asked me how many nights I had slept safely in my bed.  I stared blankly at her.  She was asking ridiculous questions.  She then asked how old I was.  I think I was 7 or something like that so that’s what I responded.  She asked me how many days were in a year.  365…are we going somewhere with this?  Then she told me to multiply those.  I can’t even multiply those in my head NOW so I’m not sure what she was thinking.  She caught on and did it herself.  She probably just made up some number but I was 7 and believed her because she was usually right back then.  So, by her calculations I had been safe for 389,541 nights and therefore I had no reason to believe that tonight would be any different.  I quickly corrected her by stating that I had had so many safe nights that I was bound to be in for an unsafe one where some bad guy would of course find the house, know my window, and abduct me.   I may have been little but I believed what I believed.  This happened quite frequently and I’m pretty sure it’s the thing that wore here down the most.  I don’t remember what happened next but I think she finally gave up n frustration.  It’s amazing she even talks to me now.

I was also pretty picky with food and one day announced that I was going to be a vegetarian.  I had never really liked meat but after learning more about the process of getting a cute little cow to be turned into a burger I never wanted to eat the stuff again.  I figured citing animal cruelty might get me a pass on the steak they kept trying to get me to eat.  Up until then I would eat about half of my meat and throw the other half under the table.  We had a cat but he couldn’t eat all the steak.  I should have lobbied for another cat or cleaned up my mess later but I never thought of that.  One day my mom found my meat pile that the cat hadn’t had a chance to clean up yet.  I was in big trouble then and she started checking under the table regularly.  She never figured out that I was instead putting it in my napkin.  Eventually I choked on steak one day, my mom watched as my aunt did the Heimlich maneuver, and I never had to eat it again.  Had I known that, I would have choked long before.   These are the ideas I came up with. I once broke a plate so I could get out of dish duty.  It backfired though – I still had to do dishes and I got in trouble.

So this is the type of child that I was. Obviously I had my good times which must have far outnumbered the bad.  Even with my issues and annoyances my mother was amazing and I have so many good memories.  I remember her taking me to the Nutcracker with my aunt and cousin one Christmas.  She always tried her best to make holidays special, even the small ones.  Christmas has always been a magical time of year for me and I attribute this to the wonderful memories I have of decorating, baking, and the traditions that were created during this time.  I’d get cards for every holiday which is probably why I’m addicted to cards myself.  I’d find notes in my lunches when I was little and she’d frequently cut my sandwich into a heart which was super awesome.  She always takes the time to go the extra mile and it’s obvious that she does what she does because of love.

I laugh at her for calling Facebook facepage and for always forgetting how to upload pictures to her computer.  I laugh when I go to the store with her and she talks to everyone around her and says something funny and slightly embarrassing to the checker.  But, she’s my mom and she wouldn’t be the same without this.

As I’ve gotten older our relationship has changed and although I always know that she’s there for me as a parent, watching out for my best interests, it’s become more of a friendship.  I call her for advice and although she can’t always solve my problems, she is always there to listen.  I can’t imagine my life without my mother.  She’s always been my biggest supporter and she’s always pushed me, even when it meant I’d be leaving her….even when it meant that I’d call crying and tell her that she abandoned me.  She’s listened to my anxious ramblings more times than I could ever count.  She’s never taken the easy way out and I know she’s sacrificed a lot (mostly her sanity) to get me to where I am now.   I think she deserves some sort of award!

This mother’s day I’m so very grateful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful mother.  I love you mom!

Growing Up Sucks

When I was little I wanted to grow up so I could make my own decisions and be on my own and live an exciting, grand life. Now some days I long to be little again when I don’t have to make decisions or be responsible or take care of myself.   The past couple weeks have been a couple of the most stressful weeks of my life.  I’m entering finals time, working overtime at work, and Mr. C and I had a huge decision to make regarding a possible move to Colorado that we’ve been dreaming of for a very long time.  I’ve never been so sleep deprived and at a point I wasn’t even eating.  I’m not one of those people who stops eating when they’re stressed so this was quite shocking! 

It seemed as if things were falling into place time-wise, but it still didn’t feel right.  My mind was racing and my decision flip-flopped constantly.  I have never been so annoyed with myself!  I was worried about making the wrong decision that we’d both have to live with and then later regretting it.  I didn’t want to pass up a great opportunity but I also didn’t want to jump in blind and forget the many risks I kept trying to push to the back of my mind.

Mr. C came home Thursday night to find me incredibly stressed and so very confused.   Somewhere I came up with an idea to just drive to Colorado in the hopes that when we arrived we’d know if the move was right for us at this point.  He’s pretty used to my crazy ideas and he went with it.  I love how supportive he is, even when I'm not always making sense.  Saturday morning we took off for Colorado.  My aunt had been telling us that we were welcome anytime and we really tested her on this!  The ride was actually fairly quiet save for the amazing playlist I had going.  I guess we were both deep in thought.  The closer we got, the more sure we were that the move was the right choice.  Sunday we drove around, talked a lot, and called our parents for advice that we didn’t really get.  Parents should have all the answers, or at least that’s my belief!  They didn’t want to sway us though and there wasn’t really a “right” answer.  We tried to be logical – we made a budget comparing AZ to CO and a list of pros and cons that we rated on a scale of 1 to 10.  Serious stuff here!  Mr. C hates to do this but we did it anyhow.  The budget pointed to AZ and logically we knew it was the realistic, predictable choice.  In a way it was easier, but at the same time it was harder because it wasn’t what we wanted or what we had been looking forward to.

Monday we took off to drive around town again and told my aunt we’d have a decision when we returned.  I felt that things were getting clearer, even if my mind was still holding a battle of its own.  It was crazy to think that we’d have an answer in a few hours when I had gone a full week without a definite answer.   Honestly every five minutes I’d flip-flop.  It was exhausting.

My dad wasn’t up for giving much advice in the hopes of not influencing me but he suggested that I decide for myself and Mr. C decide and we then compare our answers.  This wasn’t too helpful because we both had been so lost.  Finally that morning I had a decision that didn’t change for over two hours, meaning that it was my record.  I wanted to take a risk and go for it, hoping the struggle wouldn't be as bad as we though.  Mr. C told me he thought we should stay – he wanted to go but the financial issues of the  were hard to ignore.  We talked and realized we both desperately wanted to take a chance and that CO was where we wanted to eventually raise a family (not happening soon though, so don’t hold your breath) but we both knew that financially it was not the right time for us. The part of town we wanted to and could live in with also being able to eat was so far from the job I was offered.  We could make it work but it would be so hard and very unpredictable in an already unpredictable economy.   Because we didn’t want to settle down in that area, it’d be so much harder too because we’d be paying more to live there when it wasn’t really a city we could afford and wanted to settle down in.  I’d be spending a minimum of 1.5 hours driving each way and we’d be saving every penny.  We’d be existing but not thriving.  It was the hardest decision we’ve ever made but we made it anyhow.

We made the hard decision to stay, although we’re still sticking with our goal of making the transition when it’s right for us.  Whether that happens in a year or five years, I’m proud of the way we worked together and made a responsible decision.  The reasons for moving are still the same, however at this point we’ve set a new plan for the future with new goals.  We’re saving our pennies, know the area that’s realistic for us, and we’re excited for the future but also for the present.  We have a much clearer idea of exactly where we want to be and how to get there and clarity is always a good thing!  I am excited to enjoy the friends and family we have right here that I would have missed so much.

So although our timeline and current goals have changed, I’m not giving up.  My mom is always the first to remind me that I’ve always gone after what I’ve want.  So, for awhile I’m looking forward to some time of enjoying life without classes, finally working on my scrapbooks, playing games, sleeping, time to actually work out and lazy afternoons with Mr. C.  We’re regrouping for awhile but still determined.  I’m certainly not about to start giving up now.